I am married to the most wonderful man in the whole world! A man with many, many good qualities but also with a slew of irritating idiosyncrasies, flaws, mistakes, and a sinful nature. Before I go any further, I need to let you know he would say the same about me. I am filled with a sinful nature.
The negative side of our nature has corrupted and tried over and over to be the factors that would tear the relationship that God wanted for us. The ‘destroyer’ wants nothing more than to steal, kill, and destroy our marriages.
The fight is on!!
Marriages are falling apart at an alarming rate. I’m not one for quoting statistics but it is a known fact that marriages are ending in divorce at a higher percentage than in the 70’s when we were married.
Divorce is so ‘normal’ in our society that it has hit home and devastated my heart because 3 close friends are experiencing the devastation of divorce on their families. Husbands abandoning their family for another woman hurts the wife and children for the rest of their life. It has hit deeply because it has affected our family personally.
Never Give Up on Your Marriage. Ever.
Even though we say that our marriage was ‘made in heaven,’ that is totally not true. Our marriages were made on earth and join two very sinful people who are redeemed (if they are saved) through Jesus Christ.
I’ll spare you the details, but I am here to say that marriage is anything but easy. It takes work. Hard work.
It means that I have to ask the Lord to change me because it is totally impossible to change my husband!!
It takes prayer.
It takes effort.
It takes giving in.
It takes being ‘wrong’ when you know you are ‘right.’ Or are you?!
It takes doing right when you’d rather do wrong and reciprocate what’s being doled out to you.
It means that possibly, just possibly, you are very, very wrong and desperately need to change!
It means humbling yourself before God and admitting your sin and learning to walk circumspectly as a godly wife, even if your husband chooses not to.
That is where I will put a disclaimer in because sometimes, just sometimes, the husband has done wrong and chooses not to change the sin he is involved in. No matter how much you might cry out to God, He hears you but your husband is not choosing to do his part. I am talking about extreme cases and not wishing that any of you reading this will slip into excuses and stop trying.
3 Things that Will Encourage Your Marriage Today
I promise, the best is yet to come!!
There are many things that you can do to encourage your marriage but today I want to leave you with just three.
- Pray!! Pray for your marriage. I cannot emphasize this enough!! My biggest failure in marriage was not so much where I fell short but that I neglected to pray enough. If I prayed enough and more specifically, it would have addressed the areas where I fell short too. To encourage you to pray in more depth, each day I am sharing Darlene Schacht’s marriage prayers often on my WholeHearted Facebook page.
- Resolve to Stay WITH your husband. After we had been married for about ten years, things got so strained that I had no idea how to go on. I left my husband and was driving upstate with my two young children. It was only October and it started to snow. I came to my senses and went home and determined not to take that course of action again. No matter what. The ‘what’ often happened but I never left with the intention to leave and not come back again. Even when the going got rough!!
- Do Special Things for Your Marriage. I started doing this intentionally about ten years ago when our marriage reached a deeper point of stress where we were settling into complacency. Living together and not loving each other anymore is miserable. I like closeness. As our children got older and the empty nest became a foreseeable possibility, we had no interest in each other and I couldn’t bear the thought of living with a stranger. How lonely. I started breaking through the ice by making his lunch with care, getting up at 3:30am (insane, I know) and making his breakfast, leaving occasional notes or texting, doing the one thing he asked of me, and so much more. It made no difference at first. In fact, not for months and probably several years. So, whatever you do, revive your marriage and know that it took a long time to get to the stress point where you are, and it might take a long time to undo it all.
36 Years Through Thick and Thin
As we look back over the past 36 years of married life, we are thankful that God has brought us over the bumps and ditches to the point where we are now. We can enjoy each other like never before and we can look back over the memories formed through the years, thankful that each of us has been faithful to the other.
“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled” ~Hebrews 13:4~
I was wearing a “Gunny Sack” dress with a lace jacket that I sewed for the special occasion. My hair had been very long through college but a beautician discovered her scissors!!
You just DON’T perm thick wavy hair. You just don’t!!
Unless your husband is desperately in love with your permed hair (and you)!!
I don’t know how this happened!! How did we go from ‘two’ to ‘NINE’?!
My hair is almost to my knees in a braid down my back because who has time for beauticians!!
AND…THIS is “us” now in 2015!!
And to celebrate our anniversary? This cheesecake with crumbled Orios on top!
I will be sharing this post (half-written) in a couple weeks 🙂
It’s LINKUP Time So Let the Sharing Begin!!
Welcome to WholeHearted Wednesday #135
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