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With romance lingering in the air as Valentine’s Day is barely behind us, do we want to leave those special moments that we spent with our husband until this time next year? I hope not!
If you’ve been married for a year or many more, you would remember those special moments and how the honeymoon lingered just as the moments shared over Valentine’s Day are lingering in your thoughts now.
What is ‘after the honeymoon syndrome?’
There is a syndrome for almost everything, so I thought ‘after the honeymoon syndrome’ would best describe what happens when the bliss of those first days, months, or years fade and the romance is gone.
Maybe you are one of the blessed couples who never experienced a shift in your relationship?
I know my husband and I did.
In fact, if the truth be known, I was shocked about some pretty normal things about my husband right on our honeymoon. We had both saved ourselves carefully for each other, so he was a very passionate man!
A relationship that is the healthiest is one where couples are best friends and love spending time with each other. How that time is spent varies from couple to couple and it is good if the girl understands her man without comparing him to the personality of her friend’s husband. Some men are just not talkers, but there is nothing lacking in their marriage. Another man seeks his wife out for deep conversations often. Another husband might be a talker but rarely about deep issues of the heart.
If your relationship has slipped into that staleness of ‘after the honeymoon syndrome’ and one or the other (both?) have lost the freshness of your love, it is time to rekindle the flames and set a match to ignite the romance again.
Set the Atmosphere
It wouldn’t do any good to make a statement that your marriage (or mine) has lost the glow and has contracted ‘after the honeymoon syndrome’ without DOING something about it. So here are some tips to rekindle the flames in your marriage, no matter how long you have been hitched!!
- Pick up the clutter. Say what?! What does clutter have to do with slipping into the after the honeymoon syndrome? You want your home to invite romance. I have heard it said by Kevin Leman, that sex begins in the kitchen. Don’t gasp! No, you are not to do those kinds of things in the kitchen, but how you act and respond to each other doesn’t start in the bedroom. It starts long before you get there! So, clean up the clutter. Just pick things up and return them to their place. You will be surprised at how peaceful the room will look and how inviting to a loving relationship.
- Set the mood. After the kids are in bed and sleeping, leave some energy for your husband. I find that when mine gets cranky, I have neglected an important aspect of our relationship. Even something quick brings a change in the level of love he shows for me. So turn the lights down low once the house quiets down and be ready to rub his feet or neck.
- Stop Bickering!! This is a major failure in my life. Mostly it stems from my lack of submission and has been something that I have been working on for many years. The Lord is good and without Him all the change that I hope others (especially my husband) see in my life would not be evident. Even the quiet and outwardly submissive wives, double check your spirit and thoughts because I have heard testimonies where a wife struggled inwardly with the same thing I did outwardly. Not saying every quiet woman lacks submission but I will say that we all fall short of God in some area and we desperately need His grace.
I’m sure if I sat and thought long enough, I could come up with ten or more things to up the romance in your marriage that would kick the ‘after the honeymoon syndrome.’ Just sharing 3 things to change is more likely to bring change than skimming down through a post and forget all twenty!
You have different struggles than me.
Can you identify just one area that has dulled the romance in your marriage and what you have done to ignite the ‘after the honeymoon syndrome’ into sizzling romance? (Keep it G-Rated please)