I am blessed to be married to a wonderful man. I know the Lord loves me abundantly to give me such a man to be my husband. I have learned in marriage that being a good wife takes work. Sorry ladies. Being a good wife to your husband takes intentional, selfless and loving work.
I am not a perfect wife yet I make honest efforts to bless my husband and marriage. Thankfully, my Love understands my shortcomings and loves me still. This motivates me to please him however I can. Not to mention in Romans 15, it says we are “not to please ourselves.” By example, “Christ did not please himself.” (Romans 15:3) “The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve.” (Matthew 20:28)
It is easy when we get caught up in being a mom or tending to the home that our husbands are last in line for our attention and care. This will work against promoting a strong, loving marriage. So I want to share 5 undeniable ways to please the man you married and build up your marriage.
1. Prepare a delicious meal. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I know my husband appreciates a delicious home cooked meal at the end of his work day. It just happens that I love to cook so this is not so hard for me to pull off and cooking for him blesses me as much as it blesses him. But if you are not a lover of cooking, you can still have a delicious meal waiting for him. Fix something simple you know you can cook well. Most husbands just want a tasty meal ready to devour when they get home. (Read “Why I Cook For My Husband Nearly Every Day” for encouragement.)
2. Speak kindly to him. We are human and sometimes we can say something that is not kind when speaking to our husbands. We need to work diligently to avoid this. Our husbands didn’t marry us to hear constant criticism or nagging so let’s not do it. Proverbs 21:19 reminds us, “It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.” Let’s not distance our husbands to desire life in a desert over being with us. Instead, choose your words wisely and be intentional to speak lovingly, kindly and sweetly to him. He will soak it all in.
3. Be affectionate. Being affectionate means different things to different people. Find out what that means to your husband and make an honest effort to do it. It may be a kiss before he heads off to work in the morning and one before he falls asleep in the evening. It may mean stopping what your doing to cuddle with him on the couch. How about hugging him more, holding his hands often or dance together? Finally, do not forsake the marriage bed. Physical intimacy is one of the sure ways we definitely can show affection to our spouse.
4. Be a good listener. Most women are talkers. We can share our entire day without stopping to breathe. (Smiling here) However, our husbands had a day, too. We need to make time to ask and listen about their day as well as listen to their opinions, thoughts and more on what is important to them. Bonus, when we listen well we learn so many things about our husbands and we can better love them. Find encouragement in Proverbs 2:2 which says, “Making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding.
5. Appreciate your role. Lastly, we need to appreciate our role as a wife to our husband. When we find JOY in this role, we will go out of our way to please our man. We will desire to do him good all the days of our life. How can we not be blessed when we put someone else above ourselves? Listen to what Proverbs 31:11,12 says, “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
Now, I don’t have these 5 tips down. I have to remind myself from time to time to do them. However, when I am making an effort to follow through I do see the favorable effect it has on my husband. I also get the benefit of him reciprocating and loving me in the same manner. It says in Luke 6:31, “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.“
If these tips are a struggle for you or your marriage is in a difficult place, I want to encourage you to pray and still try to do them. They won’t harm your marriage but instead will do it good. Ask the Lord to bless your efforts and trust Him with the rest. After all, marriage is a God designed arrangement and He desires that they prosper.
**If you are in an abusive or unhealthy marriage, please seek the proper help. I am sharing my personal experience and am not a counselor.
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